LAMBORGHINI MURCIELAGO-ARTURO SOBERÓN... I GOT 3 LINES FOR MYSELF...LOL

IMPORTANT!!! Ummm... I thought Mr. grimshaw was going to beaverland on vacation... I tought he'd come back, but nooooo... He had to go watch beavers... So, before I start I wanna dedicate this to Mr. Beaver... I mean, mr. Grimshaw, who left all of us for some beavers... By the way, this does NOT contain sex, nudity, naked school boys and anything that has to do with sex... except spanking. So enjoy:

Hello boys and girls, for today's "Describe A Table Late Night Show", I will describe and try to sell a table the way I´ve always done and always will...
So this table ain´t no normal table, this table is made up of an innovative fake piece of white wood!!! It´s perfect emo people, babies, baby chimps, breakdancers, baby chimp breakdancers, baby chimp breakdancers and baby emo chimp breakdancers.
If you call in the next .5 seconds, you'll receive a brand-new type of table, it will replace the standard table, but who cares!?! On this table, you'll be able to fold your MC Hammer Parachutte pants in a way you have never done and never will in case you don't buy my table!!! PLUS, if you give me an extra pair of socks... i mean... If you give me an extra pair of bucks, I'll open you up and insert a micro-chip which will kindly give you an almost lethal shock in whenever you think of buying one of Patricio's table!!!
Call now, because you can cook bacon, bake cookies, cut your veins, eat sugar, dance on it, hump it, spank your parents, and the best thing of all is that you can hit Patricio in the head with it!!! So call now and get it for only $30,000! Having fun with a table has never been so much fun. So buy my table, and remember: I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!!!